[AGTRT-BA16] Amsterdam nightlife facilitates sexual abuse of young gay men

Laurens Buijs
Amsterdam Gender Theory Research Team

With new revelations surrounding Jeffrey Epstein, it is worth taking a closer look at the relationship between sexual abuse and political corruption. Indeed, this is also current in the Netherlands, and in Amsterdam in particular, as my research in recent years has shown. The Epstein case often focuses on sexual abuse of underage girls. But the abuse goes far beyond that. It affects boys just as much, and by no means all victims are minors.

Sexual abuse is the lubricant of patriarchy. This abuse fuels the narcissism on which patriarchy thrives. Freud showed that narcissism must be fueled by libido. Committing sexual abuse grows the ego and creates the dynamics needed for authoritarian and totalitarian politics.

I have been doing research on sexuality for years and specifically in Amsterdam. I know the nightlife, sex culture and prostitution world well. The gay sex & kink scene in Amsterdam is extremely large and diverse. These include bars, clubs, darkrooms, parties, chills, apps, chat boxes, saunas, escort agencies, brothels, cinemas, cruising areas and so on. It is possible to have the most exciting sexual adventures at any time of the day, seven days a week.

I have also seen how Amsterdam’s gay sex & kink scene – which for years was so promising and progressive – has become increasingly extreme and unsafe over the years under the influence of commerce and bad policies. There is increasing sexual debauchery that is no longer about emancipation and self-development, but about destruction and hedonism.

Moreover, the sex and drug worlds have become increasingly connected. There are serious addiction problems. In the gay scene, for example, this has led to the rise of extreme forms of “chemsex,” such as the “slamming” (injecting with needles) of methamphetamine (also called Crystal Meth or Tina ). This is a dangerous and addictive drug that enables the user to undergo extreme forms of (anal) sex.

Young people in particular are at risk of getting caught up in the scene. This starts young: there are all kinds of indications that, for example, through the chat box Bullchat, boys under 16 are structurally recruited for sexual abuse. But as mentioned, it is not just about minors. All boys up to about 28 are at risk of being recruited, especially if they have a beautiful and youthful appearance and a high libido.

In a general sense, these are vulnerable boys. They are drawn to the Amsterdam sex scene out of curiosity: they want to explore and satisfy sexual needs and desires they do not fully understand. They are susceptible to manipulation by malicious people because they struggle with childhood trauma (which in itself need not be caused by sexual abuse; a difficult home situation is sufficient). They suffer from a mother or father complex that narcissists can cleverly capitalize on. Moreover, as gay or bisexual, they are not infrequently still in the closet.

Experimenting with their sexuality is often a form of “coping” for them, a way of dealing with their trauma. Because they have often done little or no healing of their underlying traumas, they are often uncontrolled and easily influenced in their sexuality (see also AGTRT-BA6).

Read more about gay boys’ struggles with trauma:
Healing their trauma is vital for gay men

It doesn’t even take active recruitment by Epstein-like people in the Amsterdam sex scene, both online and offline, to still play an enabling role in patriarchal sexual abuse. Attractive but vulnerable boys can easily become entangled in the social networks of narcissists, who manipulate them (often not even consciously), increasing their influence step by step. Thus the boys are increasingly drawn into a web of sometimes also rich and powerful people in which they receive a lot of attention, are coveted and rewarded with all kinds of material things. They are increasingly performing at their parties, joining trips, attending all kinds of events.

Soon the boys develop a dependency for these things. Not infrequently, they also become addicted to drugs. In this way, they experience increasingly extreme things, which they find increasingly difficult to talk about to those around them. In this way, these boys increasingly lead double lives: their everyday social environment often has no idea of their hidden lavish sexual lifestyle.

It is almost impossible for the boys to break out of these networks. First, it requires them to acknowledge that they are being sexually abused. This is difficult for them because it requires them to make themselves vulnerable and dare to see themselves as victims. Because the abuse is so covert, implicit and subtle, this is a tricky step. They also find the attention and sex partly exciting and fun, even if they are treated disrespectfully or even violently.

Second, like any abuse victim, the boys often struggle with feelings of shame and guilt. They often do know (unconsciously) that they are serving wrong individuals and networks and that they benefit personally. They have actually been made complicit in all sorts of wrongs, and thus may develop the idea that it is their own fault for getting into this situation. This guilt holds them captive.

Third, the boys need proper psychological help in healing underlying trauma. It is important that counseling services do not see their often exotic sexual desires and needs (which often touch on dominance and submission) as a problem in themselves, but recognize them as a normal part of their personality (see also AGTRT-BA15). They just need help to express their sexuality in a healthy and balanced way.

Learn more about the importance of a healthy approach to sexuality for a better world:
Transition to a better world requires a new sexual revolution

It often takes some effort to recognize the boys as victims. They lead lavish lifestyles, are pampered and rewarded in many ways. But in the end, they are indeed victims of sexual abuse and have fallen into a carefully set trap of manipulative people, some with a lot of money and power. Escaping this is virtually impossible without professional help.

To stop corrupt power, it is essential to stop the sexual abuse on which it thrives. This means that establishing adequate assistance programs for young people who have become suffocated in their networks is essential. In addition, the sex & kink scene of Amsterdam and other major cities must be restored to health. This scene has become a place where young people face sexual abuse because the scene has been poisoned and derailed.

Sexual exuberance is part of any big city’s nightlife. It is also good if young people can explore and develop their sexuality in this way. But in a responsible way. Addiction and hedonism must be replaced by community and emancipation. Experimentation must be done with consideration and care for each other. Only then will nightlife come to serve self-development rather than self-destruction.


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